​© 2020 alex dermatis

  • Alex Dermatis

the current sexual norm, the state we are in

Updated: Feb 19




Gender and sexuality are fluid. In a healthy society no one would need labels because everyone would be brought up as an unlabeled queer. But in the state we're currently in, labels can be of great protection, so people do use them.


Based on my experience the recent years with individuals identified as asexuals, the majority of people who choose this label, are people whose needs of physical intimacy are difficult or impossible to meet within the current sexual norm: what we consider as sexuality, and the way we practice it. In other words, what the majority of asexuals are actually telling us is this: "if this is how you define and negotiate sexuality, keep it for yourselves. I'm out". This makes a great deal of sense to me; The way that even our most progressive societies, still today, deal with sexuality is problematic on many levels - it limits it as a discipline. I can clearly see the reasons why so many people wish to stay out of it, whether they label themselves asexuals, or whether they do not. Other than that, the sex positive space, among other things, must also function as a laboratory where new practices, towards more healthy accessible n inclusive forms of physical intimacy, can gradually develop.



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